Again, we just had a concert, I'm having such a rush right now. The music was freaking awesome! So sad that it's all over now D: considering, this is my last winter concert. There won't be anymore of that. And probably won't be a while until we're with band people again.

Well, the music we played. In general, I'd say that all the songs were great, except for one particular one, which I'll admit that I keep complaining about D: we played this song in Freshman year, but in a different key, and slightly different notes. So, when we played this version, it completely threw us off. That's probably the only song I didn't like, but every other song we played was fun to some extent. Some were painful to play, but meh, you gotta do what you gotta do.

And for a while, I was extremely nervous about the concert XD though, maybe I was only nervous because weird drummer guy was going to be there D: meh, the concert went fine, there was no need for me to worry so much XD well, I'll definitely miss the band peeps, and perhaps even the teachers. They're really cool people, and I'm just always in need of awesome music. They're going to lose a lot of great musicians this year D:

Well, I guess that's all I have to say about music for now, but I'll probably bring it up again. Just watch.

Academic life is still pretty bad. I keep procrastinating and procrastinating. Of course we just had the concert, but I might still be in music mode. I can't focus, and I don't want to do homework D: which is why I tried to do some a little earlier today, but that still didn't help much…

The only reasons that might keep me coming back to school are my friends and orchestra. Really, there might be days which just downright suck, but then my friends will make up for it. Either that, or a fun and productive time in Orchestra. Seriously, it actually does happen.

Well, I don't know why, but to me, Junior year Orchestra wasn't much fun. The songs were okay, but I didn't like much of them. Plus, that was the year I sat next to several annoying people. They're still in the orchestra, but they're not as annoying anymore. Either that, or they don't sit close by. Well, I'd say orchestra this year has been REALLY good, and fun so far.

I'm worried about grades, I just about always am. Gotta hold on, just a few more weeks D: please make it…


Okay, well, the concert is over, now I'm having mixed feelings again. I'm serious, there's just something about those band people. I really like the band people, but I usually don't get the time to talk to them. I'm kind of sad the concert is over now. It was lots of fun, and one of the last times I'll do something like that with those peeps. Then, we had to turn in our music, and that wasn't really fun either. I like a lot of the songs we play, and I wish I could keep the scores to those songs, but no, we have to turn them in D: sad.

Well, this week has been a bit rough. Aw, so close to break, but still so much stuff due D: Then I'm going to be on vacation for a week. I think I'll be gone from December 20 to December 27.

Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to be a Senior…

Might as well.

November's been alright, I suppose. There's been lots of great music, and you know that I love music. I'm your music freak after all. Well, in the last concert, we worked with band people, and puppets. It was so fun and exciting. I was kinda sad when we finished though. We must never stop the music, we must never ^.^

And right after, we started working on new songs as a full orchestra (that's with the band people) for our winter concert. So far, it's been sounding good, and even though I still wind up close to the drummers, I think I'm kind of used to that by now. Guy next to me was complaining about it being too loud though… that's actually on my list (Don't tell the drummers not to play so loud) Well, rehearsal was alright, but I'm sort of looking forward to the concert. It sounds like it's going to be so cool, and always, I like when we play music with band people.

Well, putting the music aside, academic life is still kind of slipping. I'm going to try catching up on some sleep this weekend and Thanksgiving break, but I sure hope I can maintain decent grades for this semester.

Also, we're reading Brave New World in English… and it reminds me a lot of 1984, book that badly raped my mind. This book is also kind of freaky… and we even watched the Truman Show again. Yeah, pretty crazy.

Arts been going slow, and I have to finish college essays. Yeah, but my activity is always slow XD so it doesn't really matter anyways. I need more music!

When you were inside your mom's tummy,
your mom suffered the pain that you gave to her,
and you thanked her by kicking her all day long.


When you were 1 year old,
your mom celebrated the first birthday of you,
you thanked her by crying all day long.


When you were 2 years old,
your mom started teaching you how to talk,
you thanked her by saying ummmumumumumamamama.


When you were 3 years old,
your mom brought you to the park,
you thanked her by running around the pond, and chasing the ducks.


When you were 4 years old,
your mom bought you some toys,
you thanked her by breaking the toys on the next day.


When you were 5 years old,
your mom bought you a story book and read it to you,
you thanked her by ripping it piece to piece.


When you were 6 years old,
your mom sent you to the kindergarten, so that you can start making friends,
but you thanked her by fighting with your classmate.


When you were 7 years old,
your mom made you a very nice lunch for the first day of school,
you thanked her by throwing your foods around the class.


When you were 8 years old,
your mom handed you an ice cream,
you thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.


When you were 9 years old,
she paid for piano lessons,
you thanked her by never even bothering to practice.


When you were 10 years old she drove you all day,
from soccer to football to one birthday party after another,
you thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.


When you were 11 years old,
she took you and your friends to the movies,
you thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.


When you were 12 years old,
she warned you not to watch certain TV shows,
you thanked her by waiting until she left the house.


When you were 13 years old,
she suggested a haircut that was becoming,
you thanked her by telling her she had no taste.


When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp,
you thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.


When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug,
you thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.


When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car,
you thanked her by taking it every chance you could.


When you were 17, she was expecting an important call,
you thanked her by being on the phone all night.


When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation,
you thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.


When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition,
drove you to campus carried your bags. You
thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.


When you were 25, she helped to pay for your
wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply
she loved you. You thanked her by moving
halfway across the country.


When you were 50, she fell ill and
needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about
the burden parents become to their
children.


And then, one day, she quietly died.
And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on
YOUR HEART..


If you love your MOM & you thank her deeply,
repost this bulletin saying "I Cried Because Of This"

If you don't...
then you obviously don't care if your mom dies

As usual, I'm having a lot of trouble focusing on my work. Senioritus is taking such a toll, and in general, I was never good at studying D: so now comes a long (sorta) and possibly ranty journal to pass the time. I just know I'll be up late getting through all this freaking bio stuff D:

So first off, we had Homecoming. Tons of fun actually, especially since now we're Seniors. It was quite amazing though. I tried my best to show my spirit, although a lot of my ideas were pretty sucky and simple, but at least I tried and the events were getting pretty crazy. I participated in the Tug of War, but it was actually pretty intense. I suppose I was in the "sacrifice rope" or something, but those freshman gave it their best. We actually struggled against them. I wound up getting some pretty nasty rope burns XP but eventually, we got the freshman. Then, it was on to the Juniors. Speaking of juniors..... they claimed that we cheated in an earlier game, so we kinda felt like toying with them by cheering for the sophomores and trying to horribly beat them in tug of war, which we kinda did. The juniors actually were much easier than the freshmen. We pummeled the juniors.... and a few guys fell on me XP but I'm okay. And throughout the week, we kept winning, and we were almost undefeated.... until the juniors finally broke our streak on the last day.... twice. Now of course, we're not perfect, but it would have been really cool if we won EVERYTHING, and the thing is, I don't really feel that the juniors deserved to win against us. I'm sorry, but I really don't.

Thing is, the juniors, not the entire class, I mean I know lots of juniors I'm pretty cool with, but there definitely were a couple of juniors who started bringing the spirit down, and making homecoming a bit nasty. First off was definitely expressing their hate on the Seniors. This is what I saw anyways. They claimed that we cheated, and they booed us during some of the competitions, especially when we won. Then things really hit hard during the Night Rally. They lost to the sophomores, and lost a lot of sportsmanship points. I'd say throwing glow sticks on the ground in fury would just about do it.

Then they pretty much hated the sophomores and the seniors. The freshmen are completely out of the feud.... since we generally don't care about freshmen D: alas the poor freshmen.... sort of. So, final day, the juniors finally win something, but that didn't help them at all. It seems the final result..... Juniors got last?! How? I don't even know. But they definitely weren't happy about that.

They seemed to have accused us for winding up in last place too. I don't really see how that is. They did dock their own sportsmanship points. And I actually do feel sorry for the Juniors. Even though some of them were turning homecoming into a nasty event, they should at least get third, I feel the sophomores really deserved 2nd, but even the freshmen beat the juniors. That's pretty bad.

Not trying to make the juniors sound bad, just some of them got a bit too.... well, that.

So, homecoming is over.... but then it seems the Juniors tried to make an attempt to take over the school. The seniors fought back, and even more drama stirred. Seriously, I just can't take all this drama sometimes. I mean literally, the Junior class president came up to some of the seniors and started yelling and swearing at them. 2011 was written on several windows, then smudged. Drama, it hurts.... sometimes a bit too much, due to recent events here.

Well, to a lighter note, Prism concert. Ah, good 'ol prism, unfortunately my last prism concert >: how I'll miss thee. Overall, I'd have to say, I actually didn't do my very best in the concert, but I tried. I did okay, but I probably could have done better. But anyways, Prism was really awesome, and the music was thrilling, especially band's. Everyone in band did a great job.... yes, even that drummer. I respect him as a musician, but then everything else is just way too confusing for me to get. After their performance though, it got me a bit excited for the winter concert when we play music together. I guess I sorta get my wish, since I'm always wanting to play more songs as a full orchestra and with band people, but then there's some slight iffiness, but I'm sure I can get by that.... just a couple of days of rehearsal, and the performances, and then it's done. Kinda a waste though, why do you ask I like working with band? Because a lot of friends are in band, and because we make things more dramatic together. We're cool that way.... I suppose. Some peeps I wish I could hang out with more, some peeps I still don't really know that much, and then some peeps.... well you kinda get the idea.

Music is awesome, remember that. Apparently, it doesn't matter much who you are; if you're a good musician, you'll get at least some respect from me, so go learn an instrument >:3 I suggest the violin, because orchestra is definitely better than band.

my toe hurts XP

Juniors, they're still cool, but some of them have to lighten up a bit. I mean, when you're class president acts out also, that seems like a pretty bad sign. They should discourage that behavior, not add on to it. And when they show a rather pathetic attempt in trying to take over the school.... that's just sorta funny. Wait your turn juniors, you still got to take those SAT's and AP's. Oh how I hate Bio >:

I'm still around; I may not be able to say anything helpful, but I'm always willing to listen.

As Rihanna would say, please don't stop the music. Keep it going! Don't clap until everyone's finished everything, and I still don't really get why we clap after a solo in jazz performances. And apparently, drum solos exist, except they're a lot cooler in jazz.... I just have to respect them as musicians; they're really good at it, and I know I make fun of drummers a lot, but I've got lots of reasons from it, which I pretty much mentioned already. I'm gonna be so sad when I leave the orchestra >: because everyone here is so awesome, and so are the people from band. Good times it has been. Almost there >: [sighs]

I'd better get back to work XP but it's so hard.... lawl. Music, music, music!

Oh yeah? And I still pluck random songs on my violin before rehearsal, mostly by ear. And it's usually some song by Franz Ferdinand. They're an awesome band.... I guess with a steady popularity, which is good I guess. Not many people at school seem to know them, but then that's kinda fun, because they miss out >:3 in the meantime, there are people that know the band. Just look what happened to Coldplay D: I used to like them, but then after they released their latest album, they got so overrated I kinda grew tired of them D:

Don't get more popular, Franzy, you're fine where you are. Plus, less popularity might mean cheaper concerts :3 ..... if they ever come close by? I'm just going off again with random words. I just seriously don't want to do homework.

Bottom line, I'm still having several mood swings. It's really not fun. One instance I'm feeling fine, and then in another instance, I'm severely depressed again. D8 Why am I going back and forth so violently? I deleted the last journal, don't exactly remember what it said, but probably something to do with missing peeps, well I deleted it since I felt a little better, but those feelings came back again.

I don't really know what it is. In general, yes I do miss peeps. I miss peeps all the time. I still miss the Seniors a lot. And the fact that I'm a Senior. I just know for the fact that within a couple more months, we're all gonna leave, and I probably won't see more than half of my friends again. I really hate saying good bye to people D8 I don't want to leave yet. But then again, there are some reasons that make me want to leave, but my life's just been so ambivalent lately. I can't decide over a lot of things, and I've probably become even more sensitive.

Another note, sleep. I REALLY HATE sleep. It's quite possible that my sleep quality has been suffering again. I'm getting really little sleep, and in the meantime, I'm having a lot of trouble falling asleep and staying asleep also. I'd like sleep if it wasn't such a jerk to me. A lot of times in school, or even during the night when I'm trying to finish up my homework, I'll feel really sleepy, and will barely be able to walk. Why exactly do I not like sleep though? Well, pretty much since it takes a long time to fall asleep, and if I wake up, I'm gonna have to go through that process again. Also, my dreams, they've just been getting really weird and sometimes surreal..... in a bad way. It seems a lot of times, the dreams I have will make me a bit despondent. Why is this happening? D: I want to have nice relaxing sleep and dreams again. All the dreams I've been having have been weird or making me feel miserable. I need help D8

Well, to be honest, things actually aren't that bad. Aside from my poor sleep quality, and random mood swings, school's been...... just okay. I'm glad to be with my peeps again, but I wish I could spend more time with them. I mean, my friends hang out in several parts of the school, sometimes I can't decide who to hang out with. There's just not enough time in the world, and graduating? I don't really want to yet D: I'm like really immature, I'm not ready to make such a big step yet.

And as goes academics, I just really hate homework right now. Maybe it's just that I feel I wasted most of my summer. Most of my summer seemed to be SAT classes, which I believe did little help to me anyways, and Bio homework. I mean the cruise was really fun, but it was too short, and perhaps I got a bit too attached to that trip and some of the peeps I met on there. Summer seemed to be a painful memory for the majority of the time. I feel I wasted a couple years of my life.

I mean Junior year was simply a nightmare. Lots of crap happened junior year, and I seriously do mean it when I say that junior year had to be my worst year ever. My last summer of my high school years also seemed to have gone to waste. Even playing Rock Band doesn't seem to help, because half of the time, it seems to make me feel depressed again D: how the freak does that happen? I suppose since I got Rock Band during the summer...... how the freak did this happen? Even music won't cheer me up D: Rock Band just isn't that fun single player. I needs peeps to play it with.

Man, I digress a lot. What exactly have I said so far? Mood swings, missing peeps, poor sleep hygiene, social and academic life, and pretty much summing up summer. Well, things have been rough, but things have been okay. I really can't tell anymore. I'm just way too confused and I need to find my way back to reality.

Well, upcoming of events at school sound nice though. Homecoming is this week, but it seems there will be heavy rain/wind this week >: homecoming has usually been fun though, but my ideas suck D: I don't even have any ideas for tuesday yet. Guess I'm just gonna have to show up to school with a sign saying something like, "The pterodactyl broke my brain so I couldn't think of a costume."

Also, music concerts. There's just something about band that interests me. Maybe part of it is from the fact that a good couple of my friends are in band, and their songs sound cool. We're also gonna work with the puppet peeps again. The last time we did it, that was so much fun 8D I miss sophomore year. And we're also probably gonna work with band people. For some reason I always seem to enjoy working with band peeps. You know how it is. As a full orchestra, you're just capable of making songs even more dramatic than they already are, lawl. And the winter concert, apparently, it'll be the entire band with the entire orchestra. That sounds cool, but pretty much my main concern is that also. There are some peeps from band that..... well, I don't seem to do so well with. The fact that I'm usually being put close to drummers also doesn't help. I hope if this is the case, things don't get too awkward. I don't really care, since if this situation were too happen, it would pretty much be inavoidable, but there's still always the chance that things could get messed up. I really hope not, but music is cool. The world needs more music..... [sighs]

Life's been an unorganized mess. Gotta find my way back to reality. Sorry for complaining again.